It has been nearly 10 days ago since I had a selection in Willem De Kooning Academy majoring Advertising.
I really wish that I could be accepted in this school. This is the only art academy in the Netherlands that has Advertising as its major.
It has been half a year since I went to the open day and prepare my Portfolio to apply this art school. It was not a smooth journey. I went to the portfolio course for three months, Traveling between Amsterdam, Utrecht and Rotterdam, I had to go outside of my safety zone, I had to start from the scratch in completely new field, I had to feel those insecurity feeling knowing that I am facing a competition with those brilliant, fresh 18 to 20 years old who have been studying art for at least their whole middle school. and those insecurity feeling might not be gone very soon after looking at the art industry that seems has its drive from a big insecurity issues from its artist.
No matter how big they are, no matter how experienced they are.
Of course there are a lot of other great advertising schools that has a great programme which I wish I can be accepted. However with the current situation, be it financially and geographically it’s near impossible to be enrolled in those great ad school (and don’t worry I have a plan for that).
Around 10 days ago I had my selection. It was quite intense. It start from 9 AM until 3 PM. I had to have 2 interviews and make 2 pieces about random theme such as “A day of me” and “make an art based on awesome thing you see, listen, read lately” (and I made a toilet paper prank). That was very different than my previous exam such as “Explain your perspective on the abolishment of Security Council or does the series of event in Ukraine should be entitled as arm conflict? Explain its implications according to International Humanitarian Law ”
It was yesterday.
I was in Amsterdam when I got a text from my friend saying that he saw a letter from WDKA, and it might be the result of the selection.
I rushed back to Utrecht with my heart nearly jumped out from my body.
I was very nervous in the train, thinking about million things on a lot of “what ifs" what if I get rejected, what would I do, what will I feel, how will I react, how will I face it.
I can’t do a thing except trying to make my self calm, acknowledge that nervous feeling, surrender to it and write a letter for my future self.
Here is what I write.
This is you in the train, 30 minutes before you open the letter from Willem De Kooning Academy.
If you don’t get accepted, please remember that you might regret things about what you have done or said and or about things that you haven’t done or said in the selection day.
It’s okay. You are being a human. No one ever lived in this world who is free from that feeling. Regret.
It’s okay to regret thing. But remember that you are not facing it by your self. There are million other people rejected by a lot of things be it works, love, family, credit card application, book proposals and may be hundreds of people also rejected in Willem De Kooning academy. It is okay for you to seek comfort in that fact.
You are not alone.
If you don’t get accepted, remember to just acknowledge that feeling.
It might be pain. but pain is also okay. That means you are still alive. You still have something that you take it seriously.
If you don’t get accepted and you feel sad, then be sad. It’s okay. Just remember if the sadness is too deep, and if you feel that you can’t take it anymore, or you feel that you are still falling without knowing how deep will it end, ask for help from the people around you. You have enough people whom care about you and will be happy to help you if you just ask for help.
And whatever the result is, I love you.
You have done the best that you can. You have been trying the outmost from your current ability, talent, skill and effort.
and it has been fun.
It has been fun those nights and days in the library making things. The effort of connecting people, to show your portfolio to them, to ask their opinion, and to know new people whom have different background that you do.
Do you still remember that night when you bike from the library smiling and nearly screaming with joy when you get your android app works and your Processing Programming works for the first time?
You wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.
Feeling that intense joy of eventually making things works after series of failures, that intense joy of feeling progress from a man who always get 5 in math and know nothing about programming at 9 in morning, to a man who made something, an android app, and interactive design that you will never ever thought about making it at 11 PM.
If you don’t get accepted, it has been great 6 months to dive into the art world and make your own portfolio.
If you do get accepted,Enjoy!
Let’s worry about the next steps later.
Today, eat that Chinese food waiting at home and be happy with people whom you care and care about you.
I love you.
NB: if you want to know the result of the selection, I post the picture above this post